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Hum Hallelujah . . .

. . . just off the key of reason

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We buried . . .

. . . my grandfather today.

He died almost three weeks ago by now, there was some trouble with the death certificate which delayed the funeral, but I'm still not quite sure how I feel about it.

I'm sad, obviously. I loved Grandad and I'll miss him, but I feel as thought there should be some difference in the world since he died that just isn't there. I suppose a lot of people feel like that when their loved ones leave them - as if because their world has stopped spinning everyone else's should have too.

The service was lovely and the flowers my grandmother picked were beautiful. I'm not sure how she'll manage without him.

On a much lighter note, there were a couple of funny moments at the wake. My great aunt, Grandad's sister, is very elderly also and not very mobile. She has a walking frame she uses to get about with that obviously doesn't work on steps. To get her out of the church at one point, two of the strong men in our family got on either side of her and hoisted her down the steps like a sack of potatoes. I'm not certain who was more shocked - my aunt or those of us watching!

I was also a little lost for words at one point when the preacher who performed the ceremony saw me walking with my youngest cousin, engaged us in conversation and proceeded to ask if I was my cousin's mother! I chose to take it as a compliment to my maturity, rather than a slight on how old I appear.

It was a long, sad day and I feel dreadfully tired now. I'm also glad in a way that it's over. The phone will stop ringing, sympathy cards will stop arriving in the post and people will stop wondering if I'm going to break down at any moment. Life will go on as it always has, albeit with one less good man in the world. Still, Grandad was nothing if not practical and I'd like to think he'd be happiest in the knowledge that eventually, we will all be ok.